How do you spend your time as a single person? As you get older and time ticks on, its hard to know what to do with spare time that you thought you would be taking little ones to the park or zoo or meetups with other families with kids in similar age ranges or doing dates nights with your hubby. What do you do when you are too old to be at the bars and restaurants on the weekend with the younger, single crowd and don’t have a desire for that anymore, but aren’t in the phase of life as yours peers, who are at Home Depot picking out backsplashes for their new homes and have little ones with nap schedules and soccer games. It can be quite lonely. Its hard to know where to fit in and what to do with all the extra time alone. (The pandemic definitely didn’t help with this and it encouraged even more isolating of couch time bingeing tv series.) I need to leave my cozy, safe zone of my home and go back to exploring life again! Whether it’s with friends or just me.
So, I’ve really thought about this and how I can productively spend my time and maybe participate in activities where I can be more social, active and gain confidence in new skills. I’ve pondered tennis, mountain biking, rollerblading again, kayaking and golf. I gave myself excuses that I was too old to pick up a new hobby and that I wouldn’t have the skillset to be able to learn something new. Well on a recent trip home, I brought up the idea of golf to my dad and he and my brother play from time to time and have their own clubs, so he was excited to participate in this together, since we don’t have a ton of joint hobbies we both enjoy. So, he got me a private lesson and we hit the driving range and the next day we rented the golf carts and played 9 holes. Even in 92 degree direct sun, I loved it! We had a blast together. I gave it my all, really focused and I have zero consistency, but I had some great hits and also some aggressive air swings. (Whoops.) Golf courses are always so beautiful. The views, the game, the culture, the golf carts. It’s all such a fun sport.
Since then, I decided to make it a hobby I am going to actively pursue. My dad saw my enthusiasm for the game and gifted me with my own set of ladies clubs. I went to a local golf course to try them out at the driving range and I’m still totally learning, as I embarrassed myself right of the bat. Not knowing how the golf ball machine worked, I didn’t realize I needed to put the basket under the machine before entering the info, because the second you do, those balls coming flying out. I quickly grabbed one of the plastic baskets and put it under the spout, but balls were bouncing and rolling everywhere and there was a line of people behind me. Like a dog with it’s tail between it’s legs, I collected the runaway balls and found my own green turf square to play from. Where I was covered in my own corral in Oregon, here you are out on display for all to watch. I definitely felt vulnerable as a newbie amongst the opposite sex, who felt like pros to me. But I also felt empowered just putting myself out there and trying something new one my own. It was fun. I grabbed a beer after and sat and admired the view and was proud of myself for pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I signed up for lessons on my way out and look forward to learning and growing more in my new activity.
I also found a new women’s golf group for all levels who get together and play and hangout together. They have an open event each first Thursday of the month and this month was mini golf, which I love and was at a cool course I never knew existed. This was much less intimating than an actual golf course, but going solo to events can always be a bit nerve racking and I find myself making excuses not to go to such social outings out of fear. But, I pushed those feelings aside and was excited. And you know what? It was an absolute blast and I immediately felt at ease and welcome. We took pictures and exchanged phone numbers. It was great
It reminded me we can miss out on the little blessings of life waiting for the big blessings! We can be our own worst enemies in talking ourselves out of fun, new opportunities. Yes, there will be awkward encounters in life. Those are inevitable. And I tried so hard to avoid those at all costs, that I kept myself in a small bubble and limit myself. So, I look forward to new adventures and you never know what doors can be opened that way or new people you will meet. I encourage you to just try. I know its scary, but it is worth it.
I’ll see you out on the course. :)