Updated: May 23
-While walking to my car to go run errands, I see two cute gentleman neighbors over the chest high fence. One straight up looked like Liam Hemsworth and I was taken back for a moment as I’m dressed in less than mediocre leisurewear on a holiday weekend. I hear Liam look-alike say “Hey how are ya?” in an Australian accent to match and quickly muster a “Hey guys! How’s your weekend going?” in a peppy tone to which I get weird glances to. Then I hear “Great, yeah come on over mate, “and realize Liam is holding a phone right below that fence line, that I didn’t see before. Dying of embarrassment, I quickly throw on my sunglasses and drive off. Liam must have gone back to Australia, because I have not seen him since.
-I’m at the beach last week, just sitting in the sand and enjoying a beautiful sunset with my dog, when a cute guy and his dog are strolling by. He calls to his dog “Baylee” to come, to which I reply, “Cute name. My dog is named Baylee too! How do you spell it? Boy or girl?” And then realize he has headphones in and I’m just talking to myself….or the couple in earshot of me that are now laughing at my conversation with myself.
-I’m at the salon and have a men’s haircut. It’s a hot day and I decided to wear a cute sundress and some old rubber Havaiana flipflops. I normally wear cuter sandals, but decide to wear the old pair of flipflops instead because the color matched perfectly. Well, I forgot how old they actually were, because within 3 minutes of having them on at work, the “thong” part that goes between your toes, completely breaks and there is no stapling or taping it back together. Its basically disintegrated and now I am only wearing one flipflip, which feels way more weird. So, I decide to go barefoot instead. Super professional I know. But what are you supposed to do? Just where the one? So, I’m cutting his hair and misting his head with a spray bottle and I’m creating a filthy mess under my feet. Wet matted hair clumps are stuck under my feet and I’m slipping all around on the mat like it’s an ice rink. I was so embarrassed and kept apologizing for the grossness, as I’m trapezing across the salon to shampoo him, get product and a towel and leaving a trail of hair behind with my barefoot feet. He laughed the whole time, but I just wanted to disappear and wash my feet.
- While out on a neighborhood stroll with my dog, Baylee and I walk past a group of about six construction men taking their lunch break and sitting under a shady tree. Baylee beelined to go say hi to them and I made some small chat with the group of young buff guys. They were petting her, when in the middle of their meal, Baylee decided she needed to take a big poop right where they were eating. It was so embarrassing and to make matters worse, I had just used her last poop bag on the block previous and thrown it away at a nearby dumpster, so I had to ask for napkins to pick it up. Not a great first impression. I was hoping Baylee would help get me a boyfriend, not gross them out.